


Before You Go

by Solitori



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Almost everyone but Angel and Husk are just mentioned, Angst, Broken Bones, Character Death, Concussions, Don't read this if you're sensitive to that sort of topic, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29238738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solitori/pseuds/Solitori
Summary: Husk should've seen the signs, but he didn't.Now he looks back at the past, wondering when it all turned sour.All he can do now is move forward.
Relationships: Angel Dust & Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Before You Go

**Author's Note:**

> If the tags weren't enough, big trigger warning for PTSD episodes, suicide and suicide notes. Seriously, don't read this if that sort of thing is triggering.
> 
> On another note, this was written based off of the song Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi. It's such a heart wrenching song, and it works so nicely for this scenario with Husk and Angel.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Husk thought they had been okay. Everything had seemed fine at least, Angel never letting Husk see that underlying pain he had been holding for God knows how long.

He remembered their first meeting at the hotel, the obnoxious flirting the spider demon had been directing towards him at the bar. He knew that shit was an act, and wanted nothing to do with it, so he ignored Angel as much as he could. When Husk was forced to serve him a drink, he made sure the small talk was dry, giving short and blunt replies that held no interest.

It continued like this for a long while, the porn star coming down to the bar almost every night, and Husk refusing to converse with him more than was necessary. Angel would always try to flirt his way into getting extra drinks, but Husk knew better than to fall for that fakey-love bullshit.

One night was different, however. Rather than sauntering over as he usually would, Angel instead dragged himself to the bar from where he entered from the hotel door. Heaving himself onto a stool, Husk had heard a quiet mumble from the worn demon. “What?” Husk questioned gruffly, expecting some sort of cheesy sexual advance. 

Instead, Husk received a curt answer. “Whiskey. Neat.” Angel muttered, slapping down some cash and refusing to look up from the spot he was staring at on the bar counter. 

Husk raised an eyebrow at that, taking the cash before moving to get him his drink, not bothering to ask any other questions. Sliding the drink over, Husk watched as Angel hit it back in one go, slamming the glass down onto the counter before shuddering out a sigh.

Maybe it was how downtrodden the typically exuberant demon seemed, but against Husk’s better judgment, he asked, “So, what’s botherin’ you?” Husk stared at Angel, spotting his jolt of surprise at the sudden break in silence. Angel finally looked up to Husk, eyebags sagging and eyes glassy.

“Nothin’. Abso-fuckin’-loutely nothin’ is botherin’ me.” Angel spat, eyes squinting in a mixture of anger, frustration, and… something else. Husk decided it was exhaustion, the spider looked as though he was just seconds away from passing out then and there.

“Right. I ain’t gonna press, but that’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever fuckin’ heard.” Husk stated gruffly as he began cleaning a tall glass with a white rag. Glancing up, he saw as Angel began shaking, refusing to look at Husk.

Gritting his teeth, Angel bit a response. “What. The fuck. Would you know?” His hands were balled tightly into fists, body tense. “You know nothin’, so piss off, cat.” He growled, still shaking in fury.

Husk huffed, not in the mood for a fight. Though, as much as he wanted to ignore the whole situation, ignore the emotions and pain surrounding him, he couldn’t. Some part of him, a part he had believed died years ago, yelled at him to keep going, keep pressing. So he did.

“Y’know kid, let me tell you something. Whatever it is you’re dealin’ with, I know for a fuckin’ fact it isn’t ‘nothing’ like you say. So instead of beating around the fuckin’ bush, why don’t you just come out with it already?” Husk stated matter-of-factly, eyebrows furrowing.

Those words seemed to break Angel, all of the tension he held in his body seeming to melt away as he crumpled into himself, arms hugging his body weakly. 

After a moment, he whispered with the most pitiful voice Husk had ever heard, “I’m tired, Husky… Real tired.” Husk felt a twinge in his chest at that statement, the spider demon’s fatigue evident by the sagging of his shoulders.

Husk thought for a moment before asking softly, “Why don’t you take a break?” He poured Angel another drink, making one for himself as well as he walked to the other side of the bar and sat down next to the porn star. Husk listened as Angel sighed, stress building on the demon’s figure from the thoughts in his head.

“I wish I could, fuck, I’d give _anything_ to relax for once. My boss won’t allow that though, so I dunno why I even get my hopes up.” Angel said, his voice a delicate wisp of sound, so different from how he normally spoke.

Husk understood that way too well, as Alastor had been a pain in his ass ever since he signed a deal with the fucker. Hell, Husk being at the hotel in the first place was all because his damn boss decided to turn him into a charity worker for the princess’ passion project.

Sighing himself, Husk chugged a bit of his drink before placing the glass down. “I get that. Overlords fuckin’ suck, huh Angel?” Husk spoke, the name feeling foreign on his tongue. Angel seemed to be shocked by it as well, or maybe by the comment Husk had made?

“Wait wait wait, you too?” Yup, it was the comment that startled Angel. He looked uncomfortable, yet sort of hopeful? 

Husk chuckled, amused at his reaction. “How do you think I ended up in this shit hole? I owed a favor, he chose now to make me pay for it.” Husk laughed bitterly, the mention of Alastor causing his mood to sour.

A small grin had begun to form on Angel’s face, but it wasn’t playful or mean like usual. It was shy, as if no one was meant to see it. Husk almost felt special, getting a peek into the vulnerabilities that Angel kept hidden from the public eye.

“Huh… guess we have somethin’ in common there, Husk.” Angel trailed off, looking off somewhere that wasn’t physically there. Husk watched him for a bit before finishing his drink, getting up to pour himself another.

After a moment, Angel seemed to come back to his senses, shaking his head. “Well, uh, I’m gonna head upstairs. It was nice talkin’ to ya, Husky,” he flirted, though it was more playful than his ordinary teasing. “I’d like to do this again.” Angel blew him a kiss and walked towards the stairs, eyes lingering on Husk before he turned away and headed up.

Husk watched him go, a slight smirk forming on his face. That conversation hadn’t been that bad, sort of pleasant. It almost made Husk regret not talking like this with Angel before, but he remembered just how flirtatious the porn star had been and quickly retracted that thought. Wiping down the bar, Husk stopped for a second and then went to his own room.

Weeks had passed, their bar talks becoming more frequent. They would chat until sunrise, becoming lost in the conversations. Hours felt like minutes, and minutes felt like seconds, the time passing quicker each night. Husk had begun to realize just how similar the two of them were, even though they seemed to be complete opposites on the outside. 

These chats led to Angel letting down his walls around Husk, the cat demon following in his footsteps by dropping a few of his own. Husk found he enjoyed the spider demon’s company and was fairly certain Angel had felt the same.

Husk recalled when he had taken care of Angel on a late night. He had been cleaning up the bar, just about ready to head to bed, when Angel stumbled into the hotel and had fallen onto the floor, limbs strewn about. Husk had jumped in surprise, rushing over to help Angel up. 

“Kid, Angel, you okay?” He asked, knowing it was a stupid fucking question. Angel looked at Husk with unfocused eyes, not seeming to recognize him. 

Blinking at Husk, Angel stared for a moment before speaking. “Wass happenin’?” He slurred, eyes attempting to shut. 

Husk panicked at that, the slurred speech being a bad sign. “No fuck, Angel you gotta stay with me here. Shit, come on, get up,” he heaved Angel up, letting the spider demon press almost his entire weight onto Husk. “That’s it, let’s get you fixed up.”

They trudged over to Husk’s room, Husk practically dragging his limp body. “Shit kid, what did they do to you?” He muttered, questioning whether it was his boss Valentino or someone else entirely.

“Dunno… I dunno,” Angel once again slurred, making an effort to respond to Husk but failing. His eyes began to close, body falling limp entirely.

“Hey! Fuckin’ stay awake, got that?” Husk shouted, lightly patting Angel’s face to try and keep the porn star conscious. Pushing the door open, Husk set Angel down onto his bed and went to find a first aid kit, but stopped when his arm was grabbed.

Husk looked down and saw that Angel was somehow sitting up. “Pleasss… dun go ‘Usk,” Angel mumbled, struggling to keep himself up.

Sighing, Husk sat on the bed. “Fine, but I’ll need to grab a kit soon,” he murmured, trying to keep the noise down in case Angel had a concussion. The spider demon’s hand remained on Husk’s arm, clutching it as though Husk would disappear if he didn't hold on tight.

They sat like that for a bit, Husk making sure Angel remained responsive the whole time. “I’m gonna go grab that first aid kit now, alright? Don’t fall asleep.” Husk tapped Angel on the arm as he spoke, making sure he had the other demon’s attention.

He got up and headed to his personal bathroom, looking through the drawers before finding it and taking it to his bed. Angel was barely managing to keep himself conscious, his expression holding so much weariness that Husk felt bad keeping him awake.

“I’m gonna need to take off your clothes,” Husk told him, eyebrows raising in concern when no innuendo came from the spider’s mouth. “Okay, come here.” He demanded gently, pulling at Angel’s tattered open-tuxedo jacket.

Popping open the jacket, Husk winced at the wounds. All over Angel’s body were bruises and blemishes, most of which were deep. Opening the first aid kit, Husk checked around for the proper materials, taking the items he needed. He got to work, cleaning and sanitizing each wound before putting a cover on them. Thankfully, nothing had needed stitches.

Finishing up with Angel’s torso, he knew he needed to check the spider demon’s legs. “Angel, I need to take off your boots now.” Husk requested carefully, knowing how sensitive Angel was about his feet. 

Becoming more lucid at that, Angel shook his head frantically. “Nooo.. no, y’a’int takin’ ‘em off.” He mumbled, moving his hands to cover the area surrounding his feet.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ kid, chill out before you fuckin’ hurt yourself over more!” Husk shouted, holding Angel in place to stop him from shaking his head again.

After calming him a bit, Husk took a deep breath, turning to look into Angel’s eyes. “Angel, I know you don’t want me to see this shit for whatever bullshit reason you might have, but I am fucking positive your leg is fucked up. Let me help you.”

Angel’s face softened at that, and then scrunched up in thought. “Fine. Take ‘em off, ‘usky.” He finally yielded, not having the energy to keep fighting. Husk felt an involuntary smile form on his face at the trust the spider had granted him and began to slowly remove one of the boots.

Hearing a hiss, he paused and saw that Angel was wincing in pain. “Ah shit, sorry. Tell me when to keep goin’.” Husk said calmly. 

A minute or so passed before Angel gave a small, “‘Kay,” allowing Husk to continue. He pulled the boot off completely, spotting the misshapen bend to a section of the spider demon’s leg.  
“Shit,” Husk grumbled, knowing there wasn’t an easy fix to a broken leg. Not seeing any visible bone, he got to work, creating a splint from the basic first aid materials he owned. 

“Now for the other one.” He mumbled to himself, taking it off with the same care as the first boot. Not getting a reaction from Angel, Husk determined that this leg was better off. It had a few scratches, but nothing near the extent of the rest of the spider’s body.

Finishing up, Husk saw that Angel had fallen asleep and let him, deciding he would wake him in an hour. Soft snores filling the room, Husk sat on the bed and listened to Angel sleep, something about hearing the hushed puffs of air bringing him a sense of relief.

Looking back now, Husk wished he could have pried more into what had happened that night as the next morning, the spider had been gone, replaced by a small note with the word, “Thanks,” scribbled down in bright pink ink with a tiny heart right next to it.

Angel hadn’t quite avoided him after that, but he became busier, Husk seeing him less and less. That is, until one week after that. Husk had woken up that morning already knowing it wasn’t going to be a good day, and he was right.

The whole day Husk had felt an odd sense of depression, anger mixing with a hollowness inside his chest. Sitting at the front desk and bar, Husk stared off into space, his surroundings becoming nothing as he focused on anything but his own mind. At some point Charlie had come up to him and asked him to do a favor for her, to which he responded with a curt, “Fuck off, princess,” and went back into a state of semi-consciousness.

A sudden noise made him jump then, his mind beginning to spiral as the hotel door slammed open. He had told himself that everything was fine and that nothing was wrong, until he heard a gunshot from outside of the hotel. Although typical for Hell, the sound accompanied by his already frantic nature triggered… something in him then.

Husk can’t recall exactly what had happened next, his brain a mess of static and blurry movement along with what sounded like distant shouting. His mind had brought him back to the war, back to the fighting, the death, the suffering, and then- nothing.

When he came to his senses, everything seemed wrong and his body didn’t feel like his own. Attempting to look around, Husk saw that the area near the bar was in shambles, bits and pieces of glass everywhere. Standing in the broken bottles was Angel Dust, his expression holding a mixture of concern and pain. Husk didn’t understand, nothing felt normal, his body hurt, and he just wanted it to _stop._

Eventually, Angel was standing right in front of him, his mouth moving without sound. Husk knew he was being spoken to, but his mind just couldn’t process the words. He stumbled to sit down, head clanging back against the wall of the bar counter.

Husk sensed movement and found Angel sitting right next to him, enough space in between them to make sure he didn’t touch Husk. Minutes passed, Husk eventually being able to hear the words being spoken to him.

“Shh, it’s okay Husk, you’re gonna be fine,” Angel had been whispering, his soft voice flowing into Husk’s mind like a warm blanket. “Just breathe _dolcezza mio,_ you’re all good.” Angel seemed to notice that Husk was coherent enough to respond.

He hesitated for a moment before asking, “Hey, can I touch ya?” Husk looked at him in confusion, pushing Angel to respond. “Not like that! Can I, y’know, give ya a hug or some shit? Charlie said that shit helps sometimes, never tried it myself so I dunno… and now I’m fuckin’ rambling.” Angel grimaced and stopped.

Trying to speak, Husk choked on his own dry throat. “Hey hey easy there!” Angel jolted up to help him, still not quite touching him. He got up to grab Husk some water, pouring a small glass before handing it to the cat demon. Husk took hold of the glass, taking a few big sips before finishing it off.

“I… don’t mind touch.” Husk finally managed, struggling through the phrase. That prompted the spider demon to wrap his two exposed pairs of arms around his body, the lower pair rubbing his back.

Angel began to whisper sweet nothings again while petting Husk with the most compassionate touch Husk had ever felt. They had sat there a while, other members of the hotel asleep by the time they went off to bed. Husk hadn’t let Angel go then, holding onto Angel’s arm and pulling him towards his own room to sleep. 

Feeling embarrassed at the memory, Husk shifted his mind instead to how much time they began to spend together after that. Instead of just talking at the bar, they began to go out together on what weren’t quite dates, usually grabbing a meal or two. They relished in each other’s company, staying together now and again until there was a time when the two were barely seen apart.

Everything appeared to be great, Angel eventually officially asking Husk out. “I know ya probably don’t wanna go by any stupid titles like ‘boyfriends’ or anythin’, but what are we, Husky?” He asked, shy at the prospect of asking such a question.

Thinking for a moment, Husk came to a conclusion. “We’re partners, simple as that,” and although their relationship was complex, it really had been as simple as that. Partners who worked together so nicely, who loved each other no matter the flaws. 

The day Angel had told Husk his real, human name was a day of vulnerability and trust. The porn star had knocked at Husk’s door, waking the man from his slumber. When Husk looked at his alarm clock, he had seen that it was… three in the morning?

“Angel? What is it?” He grumbled out, voice full of sleep. He blearily looked over the other, seeing a hesitant yet hopeful look on the spider demon’s face.

Angel had the decency to look apologetic. “Sorry Husky, I know it’s early, but I gotta tell ya somethin’ special.” The porn star’s eyes held a sparkle to them, and Husk didn’t have the heart to ruin it. “But ya gotta come with me, I wanna do this somewhere private.” He continued, walking as he spoke.

Rolling his eyes, Husk muttered a quick, “This had better be good.” The words held no bite to them however, and he followed behind his partner without much more complaint. He raised an eyebrow when Angel led him to the balcony, catching the spider looking out at the city.

After a moment, Angel broke the silence. “We’ve known each other quite a while, Husky.” He began, seemingly thinking about what to say next. “And we got somethin’ special here that all them fuckers out there’d be jealous of.” Angel chuckled while pointing a thumb at the civilians roaming the streets below.

Husk stared at Angel, giving a hum in acknowledgement. He was curious to see where the spider was going with this. He stifled a yawn, trying to rub away the sleep that still clouded his eyes.

“...Anthony.” Angel stated, gazing longingly to somewhere Husk couldn’t see. “My name’s Anthony.” There was a long pause, Husk blinking and trying to take in what the other had just told him. 

Staring at Angel, Husk continued processing the name. “Anthony, huh? Fitting.” He smiled, meaning the comment. He knew Anthony meant “the priceless one,” and by Lucifer did that make sense when applied to Angel

Angel flushed, fur fluffing up in embarrassment. “Pssh, nah, you don’t mean that.” He brushed the compliment off, a small grin forming on his face.

He grabbed for Angel’s hand and stared into his eyes. “I do, Anthony. I promise.” He’d watched as the porn star’s features softened, the two of them staying on that balcony for the entire night, just enjoying each other’s company.

He himself had never told the spider his name, always putting it off until he felt it was right, and Angel never pushed him to. They coexisted in harmony, their relationship growing each day.

Like all couples of course, they had a few minor spats, but not enough to drive something like _this._ But in reality, did anything ever cause something so horrific on its own?

Husk had noticed for a while that Angel was less outspoken, less happy, but had thought nothing of it. Ever since the spider had started to wean off of the drugs, he would have these moments where depression took over and left him a shell of his former self, but those moments would pass. 

Husk had seen how tired Angel was after work each day, Valentino pushing him harder and harder, but Husk didn’t know how close he was to breaking until it happened.

He had been doing a few chores that the princess had given him, sweeping the lobby floor for about an hour or so, when Angel had entered the hotel, face expressionless. “Hey Angel, what’s up?” Husk questioned, just knowing that something felt wrong.

Putting what Husk now knew to be a fake smile on, Angel replied, “Nothin’ much sugar, how are ya doin’ yerself?” He had seemed so enthusiastic, so _normal,_ that Husk had let it slide. Not letting his smile slip, Angel pecked Husk’s cheek before murmuring against it, “I’m gonna head to bed early though, long day, y’know?”

And Husk did know. Angel’s work required stamina, both mental and physical so, figuring it was just as tiresome as usual, he had simply replied, “Okay, see you in a bit then,” before going back to sweeping. He did eventually head to Angel’s room for sleep, holding the spider demon close before falling into a slumber.

The next morning, Husk remembered, had been the most terrifying moment of his afterlife.

He woke alone in bed, the sound of screams coming from out the window. In a hurry to get down and check what was going on, he missed the note on top of Angel’s pillow.

“What the fuck is happening?” He gruffly demanded, looking toward Charlie and Vaggie. The two of them glanced at each other in confusion.

Charlie responded, “Husk, today is the annual extermination,” she paused, “You didn’t forget, did you?” The extermination. Angel. Fuck.

“Fucking shit, have you seen Angel?!” Husk panicked, berating himself for not pushing further last night.

Looking worried, Charlie questioned, “He isn’t with you?” Dammit, he wasn’t in the hotel then. Husk went to run out of the hotel, both Vaggie and Charlie stopping him. “Husk, don’t you dare! It’s way too dangerous out right now. We can search later, okay?” Charlie said softly, trying to appear optimistic.

Husk growled, instead heading back to Angel’s room. Walking in, he spotted the note from earlier on the pillow. Snatching it into his grasp, he saw his name in the prettiest cursive writing. 

Slicing it open with one of his claws, he pulled out the note, distraught. There were dried tears on the paper, and Husk’s heart broke. He read it, eyes lingering on each word, piercing his soul with their impact. A tear slipped out, and then two, then three, until there were too many to count.

He sat there, anger and sadness mixing into a ball of hatred. Husk felt hate, but towards who? Valentino, for abusing his partner until he broke down? Angel for leaving him? Or himself, for failing to notice how much his lover had been hurting? 

Hours passed, a small sliver of Husk holding hope that maybe, out in the chaos and bloodshed, Angel would be okay.

He heard the signature sound of fireworks popping, and rushed out of the hotel in a frenzied manner. Searching the streets, Husk yelled out the spider’s name. “Angel? Angel, where the fuck are you?”

As he passed body upon body, his shouts became even more frantic, Husk opting to use his partner’s real name. “Anthony? Please fuck, Anthony answer me!”

Husk paused his running when he came across an alleyway that made his stomach twist. Something wasn’t right here, and he knew he had to go down it. Taking step by step, he saw it.

There was Angel, motionless body limp on the ground. Husk’s stomach dropped. “Fuck, please…” He ran up to Angel and tried shaking him awake. “Don’t leave me you asshole, fuck! You’re the best thing I’ve had!” He knew deep down that nothing he did would bring the spider back, but his mind refused to give up, openly crying above the other while attempting CPR over and over again.

Eventually, someone came and took him away from Angel, dragging him back kicking and screaming to the hotel. For weeks, Husk refused to leave the spider’s room in some miserable hope that he would come back, that it would all be some sick joke.

It wasn’t, and Husk knew this in the back of his mind. After a few months, he was finally able to bring himself to leave the room unprompted, joining the hotel’s residents and workers for meals now and again. He slowly learned to cope with the loss, the searing pain beginning to fade into a duller ache.

Now he stands, reading the note his soulmate had written him. He reminisces over how beautiful the handwriting was, delicate letters flowing into one another. “I love you.” He whispers to nothing, a bittersweetness overtaking him.  
Husk presses a kiss to the note, and flicks open a lighter, catching the corner on the fire and watching as it burns in his claws. It was time to move on.

_Husk. I know, what a shitty thing of me to do, huh? Leaving you here alone, after all we’ve gone through? I love you, but God does it hurt. I’m tired, Husk. I’m tired of my work, my schedule, myself. And I’m sorry, this isn’t your fault, I just need out. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry._  
_Yours forever,  
Anthony, A.K.A Angel Dust_

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl I cried writing this. It's been in the works for a while, and I wanted to make sure this didn't come out wrong. I know how hard it can be sometimes, but to anyone who needs this: please don't give up, please.
> 
> This topic is so sensitive, so I hope I was able to portray this without romanticizing anything. Suicide isn't pretty, and neither are suicidal thoughts.
> 
> Thanks for reading, stay healthy and safe <3


End file.
